Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
