piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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