You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
