The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
