it's too hot outside to masturbate.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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