Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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