if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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