are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
