Acid is not a monday night drug
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
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was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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