I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
