Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
