Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My dad is sitting where you rode me
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
