I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
