Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
