Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
