When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
