Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours