CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.