I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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