Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
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Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
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went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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