ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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