this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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