I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
