her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
