Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
