He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
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