he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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