I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
