So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
