....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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