i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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