I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
