Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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