I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
