We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
