it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
