quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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