I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
