you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
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Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
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Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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