Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
