I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize