Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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