She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
