my vag is so smooth its legendary
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
