he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
