their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
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Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
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Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
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