u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize