I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
