And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
