Dual....:-)
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
