U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
