i jhust puked up my retainher.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
