respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
