This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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