hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
