he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
