He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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