Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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