my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
