It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
