Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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