Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
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That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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