gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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