no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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